I just finished watching a movie called With This Ring, on LMN. It led me to write this article. I had been thinking about this for a while, but watching it more or less convinced me.
I've been thinking about this for a while, often we are constantly looking to the future and never living in the present. We are looking for that perfect job, perfect spouse, someone to love, wanting to have a child, to make something of ourselves, wanting more money, waiting for more of everything...
One thing I've learned in recent years, is to be happy now and to be happy with where I am. If I hadn't come to this realization, I might have not realized so early in Baby P's life to enjoy my time with her. I can't say I enjoy every minute, but most of the time I try to be and stay happy with where we are. It's not the easiest thing in the world, but rolling with the punches that come along with a baby is what has helped.
In order for me to be happy with where I was, I had to realize a few things:
- Stop waiting to be happy. I would always tell myself things like "I'll be happy when I'm married... when I have my degree... when I have a child..." If we are always looking to the future, we'll never be happy.
- Stop looking only to the future. This is not to say I don't still dream and hope... after all scripture does say "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life" (Proverbs 13:12). But I stopped looking only to the future. I've found that this way I can be content with where I am right now, with who I am today.
- Stop looking to others to make me happy. Even though I am very much in love with my husband, I can't rely on him to make me happy. It is not his job to do that. It's not my kids' responsibility to make me happy either. Only I can chose to be happy no matter what comes.
- I need to be happy with who I am. I realized that ultimately I needed to be content with who I am. I also realized that time does speed by, especially when you are a parent. I swear I just had my baby yesterday, but now she is over 8 months old! If I hadn't realized early on that I need to appreciate every moment with her, I might have regrets about being unhappy in the midst of the harder times with her (like the lack of sleep during the newborn state or teething).