Mom Support

    As you all probably know, I lead a small group (connected to my church) that consists of moms with toddlers. We get together weekly and discuss whatever book we are reading for the week, this month's study is Fervent by Priscilla Shirer (based off of the movie The War Room). The book focuses on teaching you how to gain the power of prayer. We also bring our children. Some weeks we could have as many as 8 toddlers and 2 babies, or some weeks as little as 2 toddlers! It's busy, it's hectic, it's loud but it's our way of supporting each other as mothers. 
    Ever since I became a mom, it became clear to me that we (moms) are the first line of defense for our families... and therefore the ones that are first attacked mentally, emotionally, and spiritually by the enemy (spiritually speaking of course). We are the ones thinking through our childrens' whole lives, what they eat, what they wear, where they go to school and the list goes on... Our minds are overwhelmed. We go to bed exhausted with the weight of our child's livelihood swimming through our heads. 
    But the truth of the matter is it's not really our responsibility, it's Gods. Scripture says before we were even formed in our mother's wombs we were chosen (Jeremiah 1:5, Galatians 1:15, Ephesians 1:4). We were chosen for this moment in time, we were chosen to be these childrens' mothers. If we ask for it, God gives us the wisdom to make the right decisions, the best decisions for our children. Scripture again tells us, if we lack wisdom to ask of God and He will give it to us (James 1:5)!    
    So not only do we have God's support and leading in raising our children, we also have hopefully our husbands support, and friends support. This is another reason why I meet weekly with other moms for small group. We meet for fellowship. We support each other through the good and the bad, and offer what small words of wisdom we can. 
    We approach each other with grace, with hope, and words of encouragement. As mothers we need grace. We surely don't give ourselves enough of it, why not at least give it to another? In today's world of blame and shame, let's offer support to each other and encourage one another. Let's pray together and love on each other. Let's be the the light in the world offering hope, not only to our children but to other parents.  
    Today I challenge you to encourage and support another mom.

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Parenting is Hard.

Edited with permission, CC.

    Parenting is hard. There are constant ups and downs. If that isn't hard enough, because of the way technology is incorporated into every. single. aspect of our lives we are innudated with information that makes us feel like whatever we do, we are failures. This is the reality we parents have to live in, to raise our children in. And I for one am refusing to by into it. 
    I appreciate all of the helpful tips, but I am tired of feeling guilt every time I struggle to get Toddler P. to eat her dinner or if I let her watch too many cartoons. All we can do is try to be our best selves. I want to raise my daughter to believe that she IS good enough. That she doesn't need to feel guilty because she does things differently from others. 
    I have to trust God. That's what it comes down to. I try my best to be an amazing mom, my husband tries to be an amazing dad... but when it comes down to it, it is God's grace alone that guides us through. Right now we are struggling with Toddler Picturesque going through a sleep regression. So she has been getting up early every morning for the last two weeks. And. I'm. tired. Ha. But I ask for grace daily, and God has been supplying me with enough energy and joy to get through each day. 
    So I'm going to take a step back from the "mom guilt," and continue to try to be who God wants me to be and I know He will help with the inbetween. 

What have you been feeling guilty about today?

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Don't Worry About Tomorrow

Edited with permission from CC. 

    As you've probably read in my recent post, I had a health scare (see my other post). I had an allergic reaction that resulted in causing some digestive issues as well. But the growth I went through as a result of this has changed my complete outlook on life.
    I have learned to appreciate the small victories... like my orthodontist and Invisalign tried to work with me. They sent me new trays that were supposed to be hypoallergenic. Unfortunately I reacted to those as well. My husband and I don't know if it is because my teeth are sensitive so maybe the constant pressure on my teeth caused heart palpitations or if I was allergic to these too. But that was so great that they tried to provide an alternative. 
    I learned to appreciate my family even more. My husband was sooo supportive and helpful. At the worst part of it, he stayed up the majority of the night with me to help calm me and to try to get my heart rate down. I truly enjoy every moment with my daughter. I enjoy her smile, her laughs, her goofiness, even her stubbornness.

    I learned that God is big, and no matter what He knows what He is doing. That there is a reason for everything, and one day I will look back at this situation and know what that reason is. But today I'm thankful that he led me and ultimately prevented something worse. That He has a master plan for my life, for every second of my life. And that there is no point of worrying about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself (Matthew 6:25-34).
  
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Parenting with Joy

Photo edited from CC. 

    Faith is contagious, as is being positive or negative. Often negativity is far more contagious... which is sad but true. When I first started a small group at church for moms who had little ones, I was close to my wits end. I needed other mothers to relate to, I needed other mothers who had similar views/morals as I do to talk with. I was struggling. Not as bad as I was when I had a newborn, but I definitely felt alone in my struggles. See one of my other articles on "Loneliness and the New Mother."

    Toddler P. was about 7 or 8 months old when I started the small group. We started off with only three of us total, but soon grew to 7 moms in attendance (each bringing their babies as well). Immediately we noticed a change within ourselves after the first meeting. We read books on motherhood and our faith, we talked about our struggles, and most importantly we prayed. I began to feel a weight lifting from my shoulders. There were other moms out there struggling with the same feelings as I was, the same situations as I was... the battle over eating EVERY meal, the battle over naps and sleep, the battle over "no you can't touch that... yes you can touch that."

    Recently I've noticed an internal struggle start again within myself. Toddler Picturesque is now almost 2 years old. We started dealing with temper tantrums early on... at a few months past her first birthday. We still struggle with sleep and eating at times. We are dealing with similar things as when Toddler P. was 7 months old, but it's also so different. It's exciting watching her piece together words, seeing her eyes light up as she understands what mommy and daddy are telling her. 
    But there is also frustration for her of dealing with new emotions, the devastation of feeling she can't do something she truly really wants to, and the longing to be independent but also making sure mommy and daddy are within reach. 
    This is an exciting age, but a tough age, and so I've struggled with my own new emotions. Pure exhaustion from chasing her around, excitement at her learning new things, even more love as each day goes by, anxiety for the future, anxiety for the present... the list goes on. 
    So today I've realized I have to go back to where I was when Toddler P. was 7 months old. I have to realize I am not alone in my struggles, I am not alone in my feelings... I can do this. Not only can I do this, but I can do it with joy and not overreact when Toddler P. throws a temper tantrum. I can do this, and you can too! With God's help and grace we can get through today calmly and with joy!

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Tips to Stay Joyful During the Holidays

                            Pic edited from CC.

    I wish this weren't the case, but often the holidays are a stressful time of year. For many of us, this is because of multiple family get-togethers scheduled on the same day. So Thanksgiving could look like 3 to 4 Thanksgiving dinners all in one day... or Christmas could look like 3 Christmases on Christmas Day. But it is important to try to stay positive in the midst of chaos and stress induced situations.

    So here are my tips to try to get your heart and mind where it needs to be for the upcoming holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas specifically): 

• Get your head and heart where they need to be. Focus on the reason for celebrating these holidays. Thanksgiving is meant to be thankful. It is a holiday where we are supposed to be thankful for what we have, not what we don't have. Christmas is meant to celebrate our salvation. Celebrating the birth of a savior who came and was sinless, yet took on the burden and weight of our sins. Celebrating that God sent His one and only son to eventually die for us on a cross so that we could be with the Lord in Heaven one day. 
• Be Flexible. With scheduling multiple dinners or even with shopping for Christmas, it is easy to get overwhelmed and cranky. You can see it on other people's faces as you go shopping the week of Thanksgiving, or when you're Christmas shopping and you see all of the scowls and rude gestures from others at the store. Just take a deep breath, pray for peace, and think flexible thoughts. It is important to be flexible all of the time, but especially during the holidays. Things don't go the way we think they should, they never will and we need to just accept that. We need to just accept that we should turn things over to the Lord, and know that He has a bigger plan in all of this. 
• Pray. I cannot stress enough the importance of prayer. Psalm 55:22 says "Cast your burden on the Lord, releasing the weight of it and He will sustain you. He will never allow the consistently righteous to be moved made to slip, fall or fail." This is how I make it through, I pray! While trying to schedule 3 Thanksgivings and 3 Christmases, praying and turning it over to the Lord is how everything always seems to work out. Somehow at the end of the day after a holiday, sure we might be exhausted, but everything went smoothly and we had fun.  

    
    What have you found helpful to stay positive during the holidays? 

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Stop the Fear Cycle

Picture edited from CC.

    In the small group I lead (for moms of little ones), we have been reading The Passionate Mom by Susan Merrill. If you have not read this book, and you're a mom, it's a must read! This latest chapter, Merrill brought up such a vital point that I was talking about with my sister. When we enter into the vicious cycle of fear, and let it continue, we end up practically drowning... barely able to breathe because we can't surface from the weight of our fears. So how do we stop this vicious cycle of fear in its tracks? With prayer. 
     First I'm going to talk about what the circle of fear looks like, I know many of you will be very familiar with each stage (as I am). 
1. Fear. Fear starts always with a simple thought. It's often cause by a primary emotion of some sort. What is a primary emotion? It is an emotion triggered by something that reminds us of a bad past experience. If that fear thought isn't addressed, you quickly move to the next section of the cycle, worry.
2. Worry. Worry causes us to focus on our problems. It is this constant nagging thought that causes us to torment ourselves and to fret. If not stopped here, then you progress to the next stage, anxiety.
3. Anxiety. Anxiety makes us useless. It freezes us in our tracks. It often causes us to have psychic tension and constant apprehension. If the cycle isn't stopped here then it continues to the final stage, panic.
4. Panic. Panic causes hysterical behavior. It causes you to be completely irrational, not just in thought but in your actions. 
    So how do you stop the cycle of fear in its tracks? By praying and turning the situation over to Christ.

Picture edited from CC.

• When you have that first fearful thought, pray.  
• Stand on scripture. Knowing the promises that are in the Bible for us and standing on those scriptures is important. In Nehemiah 1 & 2, it says that Nehemiah reminded God of His promises (Nehemiah 1:8). Obviously God does not need to be reminded of his promises, the reminder of His promises is really for us.
• Know that life isn't always easy. But that with the Lord we can make it through with joy and peace (as Psalm 55:22 and Philippians 4:6,7 say). 
• When we are weak, Christ is strong (2 Corinthians 12:10). 
• Surrender your fear, your worry, your problem to God.

    I had to put this into practice last night. Mr. Picturesque had food poisoning and was sick all night long. Fear kept trying to creep in as I tried finding medicine for him that he could keep down. I found I was close to the anxiety portion of the cycle, when I heard God's still small voice remind me to pray until the fear went away. The fear did go away, and Mr. Picturesque was able to keep food down after 6 hours. 

    I hope this post encourages you today. Don't let fear take control of your life. Turn your worries over to God!

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