Weaning and its Challenges

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Edited with permission, CC.

    Toddler Picturesque is almost two, and I have been practicing self-weaning with her for breastfeeding. If you'd like to see my other article on breastfeeding past a year, go here. 
    So what is self-weaning? It is when you let your child decide when to stop breastfeeding and let them wean themselves. Well Toddler P. has done just that, and has slowly made her way to breastfeeding only twice a day now. Although this is a bitter sweet moment for me, it is amazing to watch her make the decision to no longer breastfeed. 
    I expected with weaning that there would be some soreness and some sadness, but I had no idea the changes that would take place in my body from her weaning!
    Every month I was eagerly waiting to see if my period would come, because I had the weirdest, pregnancy related symptoms. I had nausea most of the month, backaches, acne, cramping, ocular migraines, exhaustion, and pain in my breasts. I couldn't figure out what was going on, because I wasn't pregnant. Come to find out, most women experience pregnancy like symptoms when they are actively weaning. This is due to hormone changes and losing certain chemicals in the body such as oxytocin and prolactin (which are hormones that produce milk). Prolactin is a natural hormone your body makes to stimulate lactation and helps to create a relaxed feeling when baby nurses. Oxytocin is the hormone that is required for let-down, it also is called the love hormone as it makes momma especially happy when nursing (see this helpful article for more info).
   Unfortunately there is very little research about this out there,  but thankfully I found other moms who had dealt with similar symptoms and boy was it a relief! So I thought I'd share the information I found with you. If you are reading this and are in obstetrics, please do some research on weaning and the hormonal changes it causes for mothers. It could really benefit other mothers!
    I found that weaning has meant the following symptoms that get worse at the times when my hormones fluctuate (such as at ovulation or during my menstrual cycle):

• Nausea
• Irritability
• Fatigue
• Cramping
• Sore boobs
• Headaches
• Extreme hunger
• Some issues sleeping

    When you were weaning your little one, did you have any of these struggles? 

    If you would like more information, I found these articles helpful! "No You're Not Pregnant and Simultaneously PMSing" and "Weaning From Breastfeeding is Exhausting."

    DISCLAIMER: Please remember I am not expert, I just am a mom sharing my experiences in hopes that it will help other moms. If you experience any of the above symptoms and are concerned, go see a doctor.

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Postpartum Healing

    I should have written this article sooner, but I was so sleep deprived after having Toddler P. that I forgot all about it. But I was recently talking to a friend who gave birth two weeks ago, she is currently healing from a tear both internal and external, and it thrust my memory back into what it was like to heal from a third degree tear. Note: the numbers indicates the original article the research came from. 
    So I'm writing this article for all of you mommas who have torn after labor and need some guidance as to how to encourage healing and what helps comfort that soreness. First off, not all women tear from a vaginal birth... and most women don't typically get a third or fourth degree tear (only about 2 percent of women), especially not a internal tear. But for all of you pregnant ladies who are pinning this article for later, here is what the various degrees of tears look like:

• First degree tears - are considered "superficial tears involving the skin of the perineum and the tissue around the opening of the vagina or the outermost layer of the vagina itself, but no muscles. These tears... are often so small that few or no stitches are required. They usually heal quickly and cause little or no discomfort." (1)
• Second degree tears - "go deeper, into the muscles underneath. These tears need to be stitched closed, layer by layer. They'll cause you some discomfort and usually take a few weeks to heal. The stitches dissolve on their own during the healing period." (2)
• Third degree tears - "is a tear or laceration through the perineal muscles and the muscle layer that surrounds the anal canal. This requires stitches and can take a similar time to a 2nd degree tear (two months or so), if not longer, before the wound is healed and the area comfortable." (3).
• Fourth degree tears - "goes through the anal sphincter all the way into the anal canal or rectum. Most women with this condition will have no ongoing problems, with the appropriate management (including good personal hygiene by you, diet, physiotherapy, pain medication and laxatives)." (4).

   As I mentioned earlier, I had a third degree tear. I had this level of a tear because I was induced, had an epidural, labored on my back, and pushed non-stop for three hours. But the doctor did a great job sewing me up, and the hardest part then was the recovery and moving afterwards. 

   A few hours in the postpartum area of the hospital, and I realized I could not sit or move easily because of the tear. Here are the things the helped me not only in the hospital but recovering at home:

• Buy an Inflatable Donut: This is so cheap and a great way to relieve the pressure of sitting on the tear. Inflatable donuts usually cost any where from $5 to $15 (at Walmart or Walgreens).

• Sitz Bath: Most hospitals give you this for recovery after labor. But if your hospital doesn't initially, ask for one. These are amazing and so helpful for recovery. It helps relieve inflammation and is so comforting. Just fill with luke warm water and sit in it for 10 to 15 minutes.

• Perineum Bottle: This too should be given to you after labor in the postpartum ward. This is great to relieve pain while peeing. You just fill it with luke warm water and squirt while urinating. Both the sitz baths and the perineum bottle also help to keep the area clean.

           

• Witch Hazel Frozen Pads: I cannot express enough how helpful this is to relieve pain from a tear! After birth, you will be leaking lochia anyway (it's like a heavy period that lasts for two months or so)... so you will need to wear rather large pads. The frozen witch hazel pads help to ease the perineum pain, while preventing leaking. Another plus, is that witch hazel is comforting and has anti-inflammatory properties! Here are instructions on how to make your own frozen witch hazel pads.

• Take Ibuprofen. Ibuprofen is safe to take while breastfeeding and is the lesser pain killer that is offered by hospitals. I took one a day for the first few weeks, and it helped a lot with the pain.
• Take it easy. I know this is hard to do. You want to get things done, you want to move around, but in order to let everything heal properly you have to take it easy. Rest. Sleep when baby sleeps. Take care of yourself. You will have plenty of time to get stuff done in a few months, do not worry about what needs to get done now. I did not take it easy at first and pushed myself after having Toddler P. I am a doer, but the problem is my body wasn't ready for that. Thankfully I didn't hurt anything, it just set me back a few days. So I'm going to say it again, take it easy and rest. Enjoy your newest bundle of joy! 

    Did you tear when you were in labor? What helped with comfort and healing for you?

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Need more information on vaginal tears? Here is a helpful link.

Breastfeeding Tips & Essentials

    As I mentioned in my previous blog, Motherhood and Its Initial Difficulties, I discussed how breastfeeding can be pretty painful at first. But the benefits out weigh that pain in so many ways. The only problem is pushing past that pain and getting to those benefits both for baby and for you.

The Benefits
1. Building baby's immunity. You probably have heard the slogan "breast is best" over and over if you're pregnant or have had children. There are so many benefits for baby and for you to breastfeed. A breastfed baby's immunity is boosted so much so that their bodies are more likely to resist disease and infection. This is because research has shown that while nursing, a mother passes on antibodies to baby and important vitamins/nutrients. Also the risk of allergies is much lower since breast milk tends to protect the intestinal track. (See this link for more details). 

2. The SIDs risk is lowered. Evidently the risk of SIDs is significantly lowered (in fact the risk is cut in half). 

3. The bond. Because of the constant skin to skin contact, and the need for your baby to nurse and be close... the bond between mother and baby becomes very strong through breastfeeding. Even though breastfeeding was difficult for me initially (pain wise), I absolutely love breastfeeding Baby P. now! Mentally and emotionally we need this time together several times a day. It helps meet a need for both of us to establish that closeness. 

4. Breastfeeding can reduce the chances of Postpartum Depression. When a woman breastfeeds, she often feels relaxed. This is because a chemical called Oxytocin is released in the brain when a mother breastfeeds. Because of this chemical/hormone release, many mothers have a reduced risk of suffering from postpartum depression/anxiety. According to babycenter.com, breastfeeding can also lower stress levels (which are already high with a newborn).

5. Lose baby weight faster. The Oxytocin release, mentioned earlier, also helps your uterus to contract helping it to return to it's normal (pre-baby size). This ultimately helps you lose those extra baby pounds faster. Also this hormone helps to lessen postpartum bleeding. Yes, for those who have not yet experienced it... this postpartum bleeding is so not fun! I'm talking about not only baby in diapers, but you. ICK! #returntodiapersformommy 

6. Risk of certain cancers are lowered. Many studies have shown that women who breastfeed are less likely to suffer from breast and ovarian cancer. These risks continue to lower the longer you breastfeed. Also there have been some new studies that show that the risk of Alzheimers is also lowered. (See this link for more information). 

What to Expect    
    Yes, breastfeeding is very natural. But it is hard! There are some things that seem to come naturally with breastfeeding (like the emotional bond), but knowing how to latch properly or the various positions is not one of them. 

1. Push through the pain. 
When I pushed my baby girl out and she was delivered, the midwife immediately placed her on my chest. To my amazement, she started pulling herself to my breast and latched on right away! But even though this moment was beautiful and amazing, I had no clue how bad nursing would hurt till we started. I also did not know, that the only way to get past it is to just push through the pain. Yes there could be many reasons it hurts other than that it's normal. Some baby's have lip or tongue ties which can cause pain, have thrush, or not latching properly. Talk to your hospital's nursing consultant to make sure of these things. But for me, it was just that I was not used to nursing, and my nipples just had to get accustomed to it. Thankfully, I was part of a few breastfeeding support groups on facebook and this helped me immensely (like Breast is Best or the La Leche League).
   
2. Lanolin or other creams. 
Lanolin was my lifeline throughout this time. I just put it on every time I fed baby girl and it helped with the pain! There are plenty of other creams that can be used, it definitely helps though.

3. Nipple Guard. 
Eventually the pain was so bad that I just needed a barrier to help my breast recover. So I bought a nipple guard and used it a few times. It gave me a little bit of a break which helped. I do not always suggest using a nipple guard as it can cause nipple confusion. 

4. Mastitis or clogged duct.
Unfortunately clogged ducts are very common in breastfeeding. How do you know if you have a clogged duct? Your breast feels inflamed and hurts to the touch (on the sides). The only way to get rid of a clogged duct though is to keep nursing from that breast. The best way to avoid a clogged duct or mastitis (which is what happens if a clogged duct goes untreated) is to wear loose fitting clothes, no under wire bras, and to make sure to feed from both breasts. Also switching up nursing positions has been known to prevent this from happening as well (to drain all areas of the breast). If you think you have mastitis, you need to go to the doctor as they typically have to prescribe antibiotics. Mastitis symptoms are usually breast pain, redness around the breast and a fever.

Here's a chart of breastfeeding positions: 

 

    There are so many resources out there to help you on this journey, including a website called Kellymom.com which has addressed pretty much every scenario that comes up with breastfeeding and other aspects of motherhood. 

Finding Peace in Motherhood

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     When you have a child, pretty much everything in life becomes a chaotic mess of dirty diapers, piles of laundry/dishes, and crying children. 

     I know this sounds extreme, but this is kind of what I felt like when I first brought our baby girl home. I want wanted everything in our house neat and tidy. I want wanted everything organized. Just an example of the level of organization I enjoy... my closet is even organized by type of clothing and then has subcategories based on type of clothing/seasons. Yes I have some OCD tendencies. 

    Thankfully when I was pregnant, I realized these OCD tendencies were going to have to change. I obviously knew with a kid, things are anything but tidy and organized. But, that didn't necessarily make it any easier when baby girl came and I had to keep reminding myself that it was OKAY that I couldn't get the dishes done, or do the laundry. Some days I can't get anything done, and that is OKAY! I had/have to tell myself it is Okay and that nothing bad is going to happen if things aren't cleaned today and that with a child, I have to be open to constant change.

    Just telling myself constantly (and my husband telling me) that this was okay, did not mean I fully felt that way. So I turned to who I usually turn in times when I need help, God. As I have mentioned in previous articles, I rely heavily on my faith in God to get me through everything in life (both happy and sad times).
    
   So I turned to prayer and (as you saw in my last article) I also created a schedule. But prayer is what has helped me maintain a level of peace in motherhood. 

So what do I pray for?

• I pray daily for discernment to know how to raise Baby P.
• I ask for the grace for every day, to be a good mother.
• I stand on scripture - 
• Philippians 4:6,7 "I am not anxious about anything, but by prayer and petition I present my requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and mind through Christ Jesus."
• Psalm 55:22 "Cast your burdens on the Lord, releasing the weight of it, and He will sustain you. He will never allow the consistently righteous to be moved made to slip, fall or fail."
• Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
• Nehemiah 8:10 "The joy of the Lord is my strength."
• I pray for help with whatever I am dealing with that day... like teething pain, a cranky baby, a cranky me (hehe), lack of sleep...

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Motherhood and Its Initial Difficulties

      It can be very difficult to adjust to life with a newborn child... But the good news is IT GETS BETTER!  

      When I was pregnant I read every possible article on the subject of motherhood, and I was positive that I was ready. I almost felt overconfident like it was going to be a breeze. To be honest it didn't help that many of the mothers I talked to had forgotten how hard it is initially and just told me of the wonders of being a mother (which I get now that my little one is 7 months). Once a baby gets past the newborn stage, many mothers seem to forget what a shock it is for a new mom with all of these sudden changes!

      Now that I am a mom, I try to make sure I vividly remember what it was like being a new mom so that I can offer REAL advice to women who are about to be moms for the first time. So I had this thought last night as I was laying in bed with my ear next to the monitor, making sure Baby P. was fast asleep, "What makes being a new mom soo difficult?" 

      Here are the things I thought of, that I'm sure many of you can relate to, which made being a new mom a bit of a culture shock. 

1. Lack of Sleep. 

For me, I was in labor 45 hours before I finally had to push, which I did for 3 hours... without a break. So I went at least 48 hours without sleep prior to Baby Picturesque even leaving the womb. Not to mention I wasn't sleeping the greatest at the end of my pregnancy anyway. Now take this new mom who has been many days without sleep, give her a baby who then is waking up all hours of the day/night... that makes adjustment to motherhood even more of a shock. But somehow our bodies can handle this and we learn to function (or at least survive). 

2. A Noisy Hospital. 

In spite of this, my husband and I slept as much as we could in the hospital... day and night. We tried to take the advice of others and sleep when baby slept. Yeah well, as many of you know if you gave birth in a hospital, getting sleep is easier said than done! We had nurses and doctors coming in all hours of the day and night and who loudly spoke in the hallway outside of our door. Needless to say, we slept very little in the hospital.

3. Breastfeeding Pain. 

On top of all of this lack of sleep, I had breastfeeding pain. This was the biggest shock of all! Baby P. latched on right away, and was good at nursing from the get-go... but there was still a learning curve for both of us when came to breastfeeding. This is one thing I was absolutely not prepared for! Nursing hurt so bad! I put lanolin on constantly, but the truth of the matter is nursing hurts for about a month and then stops (over time your nipples get accustomed to it). Some nights, the only reason why I didn't give up was because the thought of getting out of bed and heating up a bottle was more exhausting than just dealing with the pain and nursing Baby P. in bed. Like I said though, eventually the pain goes away and this amazing bond forms. We have been nursing successfully now for over 7 months and I do not regret a moment of it! Now I enjoy every moment of nursing we have together.

Click here for a link to the La Leche League, which is a great group to help breastfeeding mothers. Also there are many breastfeeding support groups (that are closed groups, meaning you have to ask to become a member) on facebook, like Breast is Best. They can offer advice for any question/concern based on first hand experience. The website Kelly Mom is also very helpful, as it offers peer-reviewed/research oriented articles to help with practically every new mom's concerns.

4. Emotional Changes.

So unfortunately on top of this lack of sleep, and pain from breastfeeding, there's a wave of emotions that hit the new mother because her body is trying to get back to normal. But often women's bodies can't handle this wave of emotions. I personally went through some postpartum anxiety, which many new mothers go through. I went through anxiety attacks from feeling so alone in this new circumstance. Even though I had/have a very supportive husband and family, my emotions were all over the place. However, I turned to my faith and the Bible and that's what got me through. Thankfully, I did not have postpartum anxiety as bad as I could have... but it is important for every new mother to know that it is completely normal to have emotional changes in the postpartum stage. But please make sure to visit your doctor if you notice you are not acting like yourself, it is better to be safe than sorry! 

Click here for a link to information about postpartum depression and anxiety.      

5. No Alone Time. 

As a new mother, you go from one day feeling/being as large as a whale with dreams of little angelic babies floating in your head... to the reality of the baby being here! It is exciting, it is different and it is scary! We are so used to having our independence prior to a baby, but once you have a child your life is never the same (Of course it is for the better). But this is part of the culture shock, you once had independence and now there is this creature fully dependent on you. It is wonderful, and beautiful, but it is a scary. 

    When Baby Picturesque was a few weeks old, I thankfully took the advice of my loved ones and started to try to enjoy every moment with her because I knew she would grow up so quickly. I'm very thankful I did, because children do grow quickly! It feels like it was just yesterday that Baby P and I were in the hospital... and now she is 7 months old! Life is different, it is difficult, but it is also wonderful at the same time! Having a child who loves you and looks to you for love, encouragement and support... it is such a beautiful thing. But I'm not going to lie to you and say that motherhood is easy, cause it's not. But when is there something in life, that is truly worth anything, that is easy? 

So what would you add to this list? What have you found to be the biggest shock of being a new mother? 

Picturesque Birth and My Story of Labor

    Well since my 37 Week pregnancy post, so much has happened! I had my baby, a few days early too. Which was a bit of a surprise to my husband and I, since everyone said that typically the first child is late. Well our dear daughter was early! 

    It was definitely a rough labor too, but the Lord blessed us through it. First I had my bloody show and contractions started early on a Sunday morning. That night, or rather that next morning, my water broke early in the AM (all over the bathroom floor). Stupidly I woke my husband up right away, so excited that labor had officially started (right?) Ha! Boy were we wrong. 

    We had hired a doula and so I contacted her right away, we were disappointed to hear her say to get rest and just take it easy. Here we thought the baby was coming in hours but we were wrong! I guess we thought this because the hospital and doctors had warned that if my water broke we needed to get to the hospital right away. But the doula instructed us otherwise. We believed she knew best so we stayed home. 

    My contractions came fairly close together, about five minutes apart, so we called our doula. She came over, to help me through laboring at home for as long as we could. Unfortunately what my husband and I realized many hours later, but failed to think through at the time, was that I am a private person and also a mother hen at the same time. So having a stranger in our home, staying over night, I became more concerned about her comfort level and her than labor. So because of my anxiety levels, contractions eventually stopped. Meanwhile, it had been over 24 hours since my water broke (and it was continuously leaking)... so we sent the doula home so I could try to relax and get the contractions to come back.

    Soon after sending her home, my parents called in a panic. They both were getting very concerned that I had not gone to the hospital yet, by this time my husband was very concerned too. I decided it was time to go to the hospital in spite of what the doula told us to do. Thank God we did. When we got to the hospital they were shocked that I had gone 32 hours since my water had broken. They put me on antibiotic and pitocin to induce labor. They said they really wanted to avoid a csection and actually abide by my wishes so I had to induce, since labor wasn't continuing naturally. 

    I was crushed. I wanted so badly to have a natural labor, and I knew that being put on pitocin made it very hard to do, since contractions would eventually come faster and faster.

    We asked my mom to come so she could be there with me and pray. Thank God we did, because she asked all of her prayer partners to pray and helped be a support that I really needed. Mr. Picturesque of course was so supportive, but he was just trying to help me cope through the contractions. Unfortunately the doula coached me in a way that did not help with the contractions, she wanted me to groan and moan through them... but instead I just yelled. Breathing through the contractions, or lamaze, was a better coping mechanism but she did not coach me in that way. Unfortunately, like with my water breaking, she again encouraged us to do something that was not best. We trusted her, because she supposedly was trained in this area and had her Masters degree in perinatal health.  

    After an additional ten hours or so of labor in the hospital, and consistent contractions, I was so exhausted. The contractions were so close together and the pitocin increased them just as I was getting adjusted to the new wave. I couldn't take it any more. Because of this, exhausted as I was... I weakly talked to my husband about the possibility of an epidural. He knew it must be pretty bad if I was asking for this, because I desperately had wanted to have a natural birth. But by this point I had been awake for over 48 hours, and had barely eaten anything. I was weak and couldn't imagine how I was going to make it through the delivery process. 

    I talked about it with the doula, only for her to tell me that I shouldn't get an epidural. At this point she was very upset that I had gone to the hospital at all, gone on pitocin and that labor wasn't progressing the way she thought it should. So I wasn't surprised at all when she responded this way. My mom, however, had been used to fighting her and told me that it was okay. This was a big deal for my mom to tell me it was okay to get an epidural. I was raised knowing that she had delivered her children naturally and she always encouraged us to avoid medication unless we knew we couldn't make it. So her saying it was okay, meant the world to me. 

    When the anesthesiologist came in, I was 5 centimeters dilated and I was at 0 effacement. But I knew I needed some rest prior to pushing, or I wasn't going to make it through. The thing I absolutely refused to do was get a csection (unless that was the only way). So we decided to get the epidural. 

    Ironically the anesthesiologist was better at coaching me in breathing than the doula was. For the first time, I actually found I could deal with the contractions with his coaching. 

     I hope with my other children I can deliver naturally, but for this particular labor, the epidural helped me relax before the pushing began. Soon after receiving the epidural, I finally was able to rest and take a nap. Within an hour, I felt the need to push! I pushed for three hours straight without taking a break. The nurses encouraged me to take a break through a few of the contractions but I knew that I could do it. Besides if I took a break, it felt weird to sit there doing nothing when my body was telling me to push. As I said after three straight hours of pushing, I finally delivered our baby girl! I did have a 3rd degree tear, which was annoying, but eventually all healed!

     Finally we had met our baby girl and we were in love right away! It wasn't exactly what we had planned for labor, but God took over and it was beautiful. When it came to pushing, all of the hard work and pain was worth it. She is our baby girl and I can't imagine life without her and neither can my husband!