Parenting is Hard.

Edited with permission, CC.

    Parenting is hard. There are constant ups and downs. If that isn't hard enough, because of the way technology is incorporated into every. single. aspect of our lives we are innudated with information that makes us feel like whatever we do, we are failures. This is the reality we parents have to live in, to raise our children in. And I for one am refusing to by into it. 
    I appreciate all of the helpful tips, but I am tired of feeling guilt every time I struggle to get Toddler P. to eat her dinner or if I let her watch too many cartoons. All we can do is try to be our best selves. I want to raise my daughter to believe that she IS good enough. That she doesn't need to feel guilty because she does things differently from others. 
    I have to trust God. That's what it comes down to. I try my best to be an amazing mom, my husband tries to be an amazing dad... but when it comes down to it, it is God's grace alone that guides us through. Right now we are struggling with Toddler Picturesque going through a sleep regression. So she has been getting up early every morning for the last two weeks. And. I'm. tired. Ha. But I ask for grace daily, and God has been supplying me with enough energy and joy to get through each day. 
    So I'm going to take a step back from the "mom guilt," and continue to try to be who God wants me to be and I know He will help with the inbetween. 

What have you been feeling guilty about today?

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Parenting with Joy

Photo edited from CC. 

    Faith is contagious, as is being positive or negative. Often negativity is far more contagious... which is sad but true. When I first started a small group at church for moms who had little ones, I was close to my wits end. I needed other mothers to relate to, I needed other mothers who had similar views/morals as I do to talk with. I was struggling. Not as bad as I was when I had a newborn, but I definitely felt alone in my struggles. See one of my other articles on "Loneliness and the New Mother."

    Toddler P. was about 7 or 8 months old when I started the small group. We started off with only three of us total, but soon grew to 7 moms in attendance (each bringing their babies as well). Immediately we noticed a change within ourselves after the first meeting. We read books on motherhood and our faith, we talked about our struggles, and most importantly we prayed. I began to feel a weight lifting from my shoulders. There were other moms out there struggling with the same feelings as I was, the same situations as I was... the battle over eating EVERY meal, the battle over naps and sleep, the battle over "no you can't touch that... yes you can touch that."

    Recently I've noticed an internal struggle start again within myself. Toddler Picturesque is now almost 2 years old. We started dealing with temper tantrums early on... at a few months past her first birthday. We still struggle with sleep and eating at times. We are dealing with similar things as when Toddler P. was 7 months old, but it's also so different. It's exciting watching her piece together words, seeing her eyes light up as she understands what mommy and daddy are telling her. 
    But there is also frustration for her of dealing with new emotions, the devastation of feeling she can't do something she truly really wants to, and the longing to be independent but also making sure mommy and daddy are within reach. 
    This is an exciting age, but a tough age, and so I've struggled with my own new emotions. Pure exhaustion from chasing her around, excitement at her learning new things, even more love as each day goes by, anxiety for the future, anxiety for the present... the list goes on. 
    So today I've realized I have to go back to where I was when Toddler P. was 7 months old. I have to realize I am not alone in my struggles, I am not alone in my feelings... I can do this. Not only can I do this, but I can do it with joy and not overreact when Toddler P. throws a temper tantrum. I can do this, and you can too! With God's help and grace we can get through today calmly and with joy!

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Stop the Fear Cycle

Picture edited from CC.

    In the small group I lead (for moms of little ones), we have been reading The Passionate Mom by Susan Merrill. If you have not read this book, and you're a mom, it's a must read! This latest chapter, Merrill brought up such a vital point that I was talking about with my sister. When we enter into the vicious cycle of fear, and let it continue, we end up practically drowning... barely able to breathe because we can't surface from the weight of our fears. So how do we stop this vicious cycle of fear in its tracks? With prayer. 
     First I'm going to talk about what the circle of fear looks like, I know many of you will be very familiar with each stage (as I am). 
1. Fear. Fear starts always with a simple thought. It's often cause by a primary emotion of some sort. What is a primary emotion? It is an emotion triggered by something that reminds us of a bad past experience. If that fear thought isn't addressed, you quickly move to the next section of the cycle, worry.
2. Worry. Worry causes us to focus on our problems. It is this constant nagging thought that causes us to torment ourselves and to fret. If not stopped here, then you progress to the next stage, anxiety.
3. Anxiety. Anxiety makes us useless. It freezes us in our tracks. It often causes us to have psychic tension and constant apprehension. If the cycle isn't stopped here then it continues to the final stage, panic.
4. Panic. Panic causes hysterical behavior. It causes you to be completely irrational, not just in thought but in your actions. 
    So how do you stop the cycle of fear in its tracks? By praying and turning the situation over to Christ.

Picture edited from CC.

• When you have that first fearful thought, pray.  
• Stand on scripture. Knowing the promises that are in the Bible for us and standing on those scriptures is important. In Nehemiah 1 & 2, it says that Nehemiah reminded God of His promises (Nehemiah 1:8). Obviously God does not need to be reminded of his promises, the reminder of His promises is really for us.
• Know that life isn't always easy. But that with the Lord we can make it through with joy and peace (as Psalm 55:22 and Philippians 4:6,7 say). 
• When we are weak, Christ is strong (2 Corinthians 12:10). 
• Surrender your fear, your worry, your problem to God.

    I had to put this into practice last night. Mr. Picturesque had food poisoning and was sick all night long. Fear kept trying to creep in as I tried finding medicine for him that he could keep down. I found I was close to the anxiety portion of the cycle, when I heard God's still small voice remind me to pray until the fear went away. The fear did go away, and Mr. Picturesque was able to keep food down after 6 hours. 

    I hope this post encourages you today. Don't let fear take control of your life. Turn your worries over to God!

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Dealing with Tantrums (Advice from ACTUAL Moms)

Photo credit edited.

    It's "Helpful Tip Tuesday" again, and today I'm going to talk about how to deal with your toddler's tantrums. As you may know, Toddler Picturesque is about a year and a half now. With that age comes toddler like attitudes and emotions. She has started to exert even more independence. She has always worn her emotions on her sleeve, which I love. She is super expressive (just like her parents). But the last few weeks she has started pouting, and tantrums. 
    I tried pretty much everything that has worked before when she starts being irrational: Correcting, explaining why, hugging, ignoring the tantrum, distracting and so on... Unfortunately these things weren't quite working the last few days. Thankfully (through much prayer), I figured out it was a mix of sleepiness, and teething that was the issue. What helped us get past these tantrums was orajel naturals and nap time early. 
    But when we were knee deep in tear stained cheeks and screaming fits with Toddler P., I decided to go to the internet and ask other parents what they have found helpful to stop tantrums with their kids. I thought I would share their responses with you:

• Identify feelings. Marissa shared - "Identify her feelings with her. 'I know, you're feeling mad because you can't have the thing you want! Mad mad mad! It makes me angry when I can't have the things I want!' or 'You are so sad that daddy went to work! You want him to play all day! It makes me SO SAD when daddy goes to work.'"
• Don't assign feelings. Sybil responded to Marissa's opinion with - "Yes, 'sportscasting' what's going on is a great technique. I avoid assigning my daughter feelings if possible and just state the circumstances. 'I said you can't have that toy. But you really want it. It's a fun toy. I know.'"
• Distract. Sunshine - "I usually try distraction first and if that doesn't work then I ignore the tantrum."
• Ignore the bad behavior. Nicole - "I ignore and walk away. It stops the tantrum the fastest with my son. I've also tried imitating him when nothing else worked, and sometimes that makes him laugh, but I'm not sure that's the best strategy." 
• Relocate. 
• Loretta - "I find that it helps my son to go in a different location to calm down. I usually say something like, 'I know you are upset and its okay, do you need time to yourself for a moment?'... This always works. When he is done, he comes out for a kiss and a hug. I always ask if he wants to talk about it."
• Take him/her outside. Elyse - "I let my son be alone for a little bit in the crib or playpen, or sometimes I just take him outside. We sit in the grass quietly/watch the birds. My son's just started those tantrums so they aren't as severe as the ones your probably dealing with. He always stops crying when I take him outside."
• Create a calm down spot. Teresa works with kids and said - "When I do therapy with young kiddos I usually have parents create a calm down spot. Maybe use a bottle and fill it with water, glitter, and other distracting knick knacks that will soothe her visually (and will also distract)."
  
• Talk them through. Jess - "I tell my son that everything is okay and to calm down. I tell him he needs to show me or use his words for what he wants. He will be 2  in a month. So communication has really improved."
• Assign a timeout area. This advice really only would work for slightly older toddlers/kids (starting maybe at 3 or 4). Since you need them to be of an age they can understand a timeout. 
• Heidi - "Depending on the severity of the tantrum... I'd just ignore it, but there were times I would put our child(ren) in their crib until they stopped... Usually they'd cry themselves to sleep and they were great kids for the rest of the day... This would be much like a time out... I think."
• Naida - "Looking at a blank wall was the worst thing ever for my girls. I'd either sit them on a chair or have them stand and face a blank wall. Length of time depended on age and severity of the 'crime.'" 

    What's your opinion? How have you dealt with temper tantrums with your child?

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Shared at: Wise Woman Builds Her Home, A Little R&R Wednesday, Works for Me Wednesday, and Homemaking Linkups.

How Baby Sign Language Encourages Talking

In the above pic, Toddler P. is actually using the sign for please because she was asking for her grapes!

    Parents using baby sign language is a recent phenomenon, and since it started there has been a lot of research into the many benefits of teaching it to your baby. We started doing sign language with Toddler Picturesque at a fairly young age, at about 3 or 4 months. Although I didn't steadily use it with her till she had said her first words, as then I knew she was ready to start learning. For us, and I know many others, baby sign language has been a great way to communicate when communication skills are limited. This has helped curve so many outbursts now from a toddler who just doesn't know how to communicate what she needs.
    But don't take my word for it, here's the research about the language, attitude and psychological benefits sign language could have for your child:

• Help with language. Baby sign language is supposed to help be a type of bridge to communication. It helps children boost their language skills and also could help them in their verbal and written skills later on!
• Improved confidence and self-esteem. There are evidently many psychological benefits to learning baby sign language... including confidence and a higher self-esteem. It is thought to be the case because toddler's have an a way to communicate when their language skills aren't able to yet, "Feelings of anger due to an inability to communicate may not occur as often." Another added benefits could be "Having the ability to sign could be a lifesaver when a child is too distraught to speak clearly" (Taken from Psychcentral.com).
• Often encourages children to speak earlier. According to much research that has been conducted, baby sign language can actually encourage children to speak earlier. 

So how can you attempt to teach baby sign language to your child? It's fairly simple actually and usually just takes repetition. Here are some easy to follow steps:

• Start with 1 to 3 signs, making eye contact and saying the word out loud.
• Repeat the signs consistently and every time you are using that object or referencing something.
• Once your child has begun to successfully mimic those signs, add more in. 

    It's also important to note that the reason why, I believe, that this has been such a success for us and why Toddler P's language skills are doing so well is because Mr. P and I talk to her constantly. We have been talking to her and letting her attempt to talk back since she was a newborn. How else can a child learn language skills unless you communicate with them like a human being? 

    Here are some basic signs to start with:

    Here is some further research I found on this topic, if you are interested (click here).

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Tips to Make Christian Mom Friends

   Making mom friends of a similar mindset and mentality is difficult. But it's so important to have a community of mothers around you when you are raising your children. After all, they often help to keep you: 

• Accountable 
• Encourage you 
• Help you to know that you are not alone in your struggles/fears/worries 
• Help you to know that your kid is going through what other kids go through 
• And basically they help to keep you sane.

    But it's difficult to find a solid community of moms to relate to. So I'm hoping that by sharing what I did to find a community of mothers... it will help you find your own.
    I was looking for women who were Christians and dedicated to raising their children to follow Christ. Thankfully we belong to a Bible believing, Christ following church so I started simply by looking at what they already had available. 
   Talk to the children's ministry. There could be any number of ways you could connect with fellow moms in your church. Depending on the size of your church, most have a children's ministry. This could be a place to start. You could volunteer with the children's ministry or attend one of the holiday events that the children's ministry might host.
  Connect via small groups. Most churches now-a-days have small groups that can help you connect with others. Our church has a variety of small groups, but not quite what I needed. I wanted a small group that was strictly made up of moms who could bring their babies (up to 3 years old) to the meetings. At the time, our church was actually looking for small group leaders... so I talked to the leadership and was able to start my own group (which was totally the Lord). This has been such a wonderful connection both for my daughter and for myself. We have gone through a variety of wonderful books which has helped us in our mothering voyage to focus on Christ with our children (like Wisdom for Mothers by Denise Glenn, Mom Essentials by Kasey Johnson... and we are currently reading The Passionate by Susan Merrill). 
    Attend church events. Many churches have events you can attend (not just church services). Even the smaller churches have ways you can connect with others. The church I used to belong to had potluck dinners on Wednesday nights, followed by a service. That church has less than 100 in attendance weekly, so it was a very small church, and they had events to attend. The church we attend now is the opposite in attendance... it is huge and often has 500+ in attendance (over the course of three services). So attending the Fall Women's Biblestudy or the Easter Egg Hunt can be a great way to connect with others.

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5 Ways to Keep Your Marriage on Track After Baby

    Today is Helpful Tip Tuesday, and I will be talking about "Five Ways to Keep Your Marriage on Track After Having A Baby." But before we get into it, if you have any questions that you would like some advice that could be featured on Helpful Tip Tuesday (anonymously of course), please email me. 
    First of all, if you don't know by now, having a child with someone does not necessarily draw you closer together with your spouse. In fact, if anything, it makes things in a marriage more challenging. Why? Well speaking only from a woman's perspective, there are many reasons:

• Postpartum Hormones. After having a baby, there are sooo many postpartum hormones surging through your body. Your hormones can cause an array of emotions which often lead to postpartum anxiety and/or depression. This obviously can cause some tension between husband and wife. If you are currently dealing with postpartum anxiety or depression make sure you seek out help.
• Resentment. If you are breastfeeding, all your husband can help you with really is diaper changes. So that leaves pretty much all of the responsibility on YOUR shoulders. This can cause resentment. See while breastfeeding, it's pretty much solely your responsibility to wake up for night feedings. Although breastfeeding is an amazing gift, there are some hardships that do occur with it. But know that I am a huge advocate for breastfeeding, as I still do at 16 months! See my other articles about breastfeeding for more info/advice on that area. More resentment can come when your spouse goes back to work and you are left to care for the baby all night and day. 
• Raising a child is hard. Just know, no matter how prepared you are... having a child is hard work. It's a constant 24/7 thing. You can't be selfish and be a successful parent. You will be constantly thinking about your child's (children's) needs and no longer your own. On top of that, sometimes you can get touched out. When your husband wants attention physically, it's sometimes difficult to not only find the energy but also the ability to want to be physical when you have been holding at least one child all day. 

    Well without further ado, here is my two cents on how to keep your marriage on track in spite of the obstacles that occur when you have a child:   
   1. Ask for help.
    This is a two part point: 

• Most importantly and key to how my husband and I have a very happy marriage, is turning to the Lord in prayer. I try to ask God for help in every situation we encounter (good or bad). When I'm mad or resentful towards Mr. Picturesque, I ask God for help to forgive him, to deal with whatever emotions I am feeling, and/or for Him to correct Mr. P. 
• Ask your spouse for help. Don't assume he knows what you need or what you're thinking. Because I can guarantee you he is clueless. Although he is not as sleep deprived as you, he is still sleep deprived. So ask him for help changing diapers, bathing the baby, cleaning up. 

   2. Communicate. Communication is key. Tell your husband how you're feeling and what you're feeling. Tell him what he can do to help with what you're feeling. Try your hardest not to yell and to keep your voice calm and low. Once you start raising your voice it escalates from communicating successfully to a fight. Communicating how you are feeling should not lead to a fight.

    3. Listen. Maybe there is something going on with your spouse that he is insecure about. Of course he would probably never say the words insecure, but there might be something he's unsure about or scared about when it comes to dealing with a baby. So when he avoids changing a diaper or bathing the baby, maybe there is a reason. Maybe he's worried that he won't do it right. 

    4. Trust his instincts too. Yes, as a mother you have freakishly awesome instincts most of the time when it comes to your kids. I've found this especially to be true when you pray about everything. But your husband tends to have instincts as well when it comes to being a father. So trust him and listen to him. This can be hard to do, especially when you feel that since you're with the kids all day, you have everything down pat. But he has some good, helpful ideas too. So listen to him, trust his instincts and let him know when he's right.
    5. Maintain Intimacy. I actually asked my husband for ideas for this fifth point and I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of this point till he said it. Intimacy is so vital to a marriage, especially after a baby. As I mentioned earlier in this post, once a child enters your life, it is often hard to focus not only on yourself but your spouse as well. This is why intimacy is so vital. By intimacy I don't just mean in the bedroom. But that's so important too, to make sure you have sex once a week (at least). But you need to make time for each other in addition to sex... to talk alone, to snuggle, and to go out on a date (at least once a month). 

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Shared at Titus 2sdays, Turn It Up Tuesday, & Titus 2 Tuesday.

Breastfeeding Past A Year (My Journey) Pt.1

    This is a several part post... until Toddler P. self-weans I will continue to write posts on our journey. So stay tuned for those!
    As you've probably read in some of my other breastfeeding posts, breastfeeding did not come easy for me at first. It took me a month (at least) to not be in excruciating pain every time Baby P. nursed. So the fact that we have made it to over 15 months of nursing, is a big win for me!
   When Toddler P. and I began our nursing journey, I just wanted to make it to a year before I figured out where we would go from there. I knew that I wanted her to self-wean... and I'd let her set the pace for her nursing needs. She knows when she's hungry and needs time with Momma, so I knew that I wanted to listen to her and meet her needs. Many of my girlfriends weaned at one year, so when we hit the 12 months mark this was new territory with few to talk to (nursing beyond a year). But thankfully, my mom nursed all three of her kids to at least 2 years old, so she has offered some wonderful advice! 
   Why am I sharing my breastfeeding journey with you? Because as with all of my posts, they have a purpose. I want to help my readers who are also in new territory of nursing beyond a year. So I'm going to share my breastfeeding journey with you and how we've come this far. 
   Newborn to 1 month: As I mentioned in the beginning of this post, the first month of breastfeeding was very difficult. This was really due to the fact that it was very painful for me. Yes our breasts are made for this very purpose, to feed and support our children, but it still takes some time (for both child and mother) to figure out how to nurse in the correct way (where the baby latches correctly). Breastfeeding takes some getting used to, and no it does not come naturally. To be honest, the only thing that kept me from giving up was the fact that breastfeeding was easier than getting up in the middle of the night to heat up a bottle. Tip for new moms: Just remember, this too shall pass. It might be difficult now, but it gets easier! I never thought I could make it past the one month mark, and now we have been nursing for 15 months! You can do it momma!
   1 to 5 months: The next hurdle to get over is how often baby has to eat. Every child is different, and Baby P. was no exception. She nursed every hour throughout the day! Unfortunately the nursing clock starts when you start a nursing session, and Baby P. ate for 30 minutes typically. So as soon as we finished a feeding, I only had a 30 minute break before she was hungry again. As we started nearing 4 to 5 months old though, I was able to push her to nursing only every 2 hours. I know this sounds very frequent, but Baby P. slept anywhere from 5 to 8 hours at this point, at night. I attribute this great sleep to the fact that she ate so much during the day. Tip for new moms: Just remember, enjoy this time with your little one. These are sweet snuggles and time for you to have quiet memorable moments with your baby. Soon your little one will be crawling then walking and want to be figuring out this world, and not as much fixated on snuggling with you.
   5 to 6 months: We started solids a little before Baby P. was 6 months old. The pediatrician had mentioned that once she had started solids, Baby P. wouldn't want as much breastmilk. However, for us, that wasn't true. Baby P. wanted solid food, but she still wanted to nurse right afterwards. I eventually was able to pull Baby P. back to nursing every 3 hours, usually by giving her water or a snack in between feedings (but this switch to feeding every 3 hours didn't happen till she was about 7 months old). Tip: Any progress is progress. Stop worrying about how often your little one eats. All you can do is try your best.    
    7 to 9 months: As Baby P. began to eat 3 meals a day of solids, and she started finger foods... she showed me (by lack of hunger) that she didn't need to nurse quite as frequently. This is where we finally began nursing only every 3 to 4 hours during the day. Tip: Remember not every child is the same. So long as your little one is healthy, trust your instincts and theirs... your child will eat solids and hit milestones at their own rate.
    10 to 12 months: At this point, mainly because Baby P. had 4 teeth and finally could chew better, she increased her solid intake. I started feeding her 3 meals a day, and 2 to 3 snacks in between meals (including water). Because of her increase in solids, she started nursing less frequently about 6 to 7 times a day, in between meals. I know this sounds like a lot, but it's what she evidently needed. 
    12 months: When we hit the 12 month mark, I knew Baby P. was nursing frequently. But I started to wonder if I should not let her nurse as frequently. But the thing was, she needed it. She would nurse for ten minutes at least. So when we had our year check-up and she was still nursing 6 times a day, and the doctor got on my case a little bit... I just told her what and how I fed her. She has always been a healthy weight (90th percentile in growth), so the doctor backed off and said "well you definitely are doing something right, even if you are nursing a lot... she's growing great!" Tip: I truly believe that as parents we have God given instincts and we know our child best. We know what our child needs. Trust those instincts.
   13 to 15 months: Ironically after her 12 month check-up, Toddler P. suddenly showed (by not eating) that she was ready to drop a nursing session. So we went down to 5 times a day of nursing.
   15 to 18 months: Again after her 15 month check-up, Toddler P. went down another nursing session. So we are currently at 4 times a day of nursing. Tip: Whenever Toddler P. stops a nursing session, I make sure that she still gets cuddles during that time and then I check to see if she is thirsty or hungry and give her water/snacks.

    We are still in uncharted territory for nursing past 15 months, but Toddler P. currently nurses 4 times a day. She nurses 1x when she gets up, 1x before her first nap, 1x before her second nap, and then 1x before bed. 

    What about you? Did your little ones ever nurse this frequently?

Shared at: Grace and Truth, Faith Filled Fridays

Why I Read the Bible to My Daughter

     Do you like my posts? Make sure you like me on Facebook so you can see more posts like this one! 
    I try to read the bible to my daughter every morning. I started this when she was about 8 months old. Why? For many reasons! But here are 3 of my main reasons:

1. Training. Scripture says, "Train a child in the way he should go, and he won't depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).

• I know this "training" starts as early as birth, teaching my daughter to pray and to read the word is so important. I want her to know the peace of getting to know her Heavenly Father as early as she can in life.

2. Wisdom and Correction. Scripture also states, "and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work" (2 Timothy 3:15-17).

• Do you notice how these verses actually state "from infancy you have known the holy scriptures?" I want my children to know scripture as early as possible so that they can know how to combat the worries, the fears, and the evils of this world with God's Word.
• These bible verses also mention that the scriptures "are able to make you wise for salvation... that it is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness." I want my children to be wise enough to accept salvation. I also want them to be taught by the Word and corrected by it, which this scripture says will happen. 

3. Reading Encourages Language. In general, studies have shown that reading to children increases basic speech skills, logical thinking, academic excellence, shows that reading is fun, and creates a stronger relationship with you (see the early moments website for more info). So if reading books in general to your children builds these skills, why not read the Bible as well and increase not only the above listed skills in your child but also cultivate a sense of faith and understanding of the Word in your child?

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Shared at: Grace and Truth, & Faith Filled Fridays. 

Thrifty Monday: Busy Bag for Church

    Yesterday we went to church and typically we would have to leave a few minutes into the sermon because Sweet Toddler P. just gets too antsy. But before church this Sunday I had an epiphany... what if I packed her a busy bag?! Surely at 15 months she's old enough to enjoy one right? Right! So we made our way to the local dollar store the night before, to see what we could find. We found a few items but I wasn't sure what Toddler P. would think when it came down to it.  
    Then came Sunday, and I have to say, my busy bag was a huge success! We lasted almost the entire service, all thanks to snacks and a successful busy bag (filled with dollar store finds)! 
    So what was in my busy bag? I'll tell you:

• First, let's talk about the bag. I decided to use a purse, since Toddler P. is to the stage where she loves pretty things and purses. So I used one of my purses I've always wanted to use, but since I have a diaper bag I have to cart everywhere, I never get to use. This one has flowers all over it and all kinds of pockets for Toddler P. to explore.
• Snacks. Of course I had to pack snacks. So i packed a Gerber pouch, teething crackers (by Happy Baby and Plum), pretzels, and pita chips.
• Water. I brought her My Little Pony sippy cup, full of water.
• My dollar store finds:                             

• A horse. Look at this adorable horse I found! Toddler P. loved it! She was having it prance around all over her seat!

• Blocks. Toddler P. loves these blocks. She's at the stage where she loves stacking things and putting objects into other objects. Which leads me to the next find...

• Watering Can. This adorable child's watering can served as a place for Toddler P. to put her blocks. As I said above, she loves putting toys inside other toys. This occupied her for a long time!

• Big Calculator. Mr. Picturesque picked this out and I'm glad he did. Big buttons are a kids dream! Toddler P. kept coming back to this throughout the service!

What toys do you use to keep your toddler happy and occupied during church?

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Shared on: Good Tips Tuesday, Titus 2s Day

My Daughter's Self-Image

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    When I was younger, I had a fairly low self-esteem. I felt awkward, and most of the time ugly. My parents certainly did everything they could to tell me and show me that I was beautiful, and intelligent. But I always felt that since they were my parents, they had to feel that way, that they were biased. I really don't know what caused this low self-esteem. I was made fun of a lot in elementary and middle school (by boys and girls). I was often told that I was weird and ugly. The interesting thing that happened though was that in spite of how I saw myself, I sure was stubborn and confident in my beliefs. I could talk to anyone about my faith and nobody could sway me on that. 
    This low self-esteem lasted till I got to college. I really came out of my shell in college and excelled. Although I believe it was my husband who really helped me to see myself as I do now. I was a whole person when we met and had a fairly good self-esteem at that point, but when we started dating I became an even better version of me. 
    So why am I telling you this? Well... as I was laying in the dentist chair this morning, getting my teeth cleaned, the song "Try" by Colbie Caillat came on over the speakers. You know that song right? It's about women constantly questioning themselves because of the way they look. Well it got me thinking. Obviously I've heard that song a lot on TV or on the radio, and I liked the message of the song for the young girls of today. But today, it got me thinking about my daughter.
    I was thinking about how the way I see myself will ultimately teach Sweet Toddler P. how she should feel about her own self-image. I immediately asked myself how do I feel about myself now? Obviously I used to feel awful about myself... but do I still project that in any way? I believe I have a healthy self-image, and I am fairly confident... but I have my days where I might not be so confident. There are some days I need my husband to reassure me (and he does, man do I love him). I realized though, those days that I need that reassurance, maybe I shouldn't let my daughter hear me questioning my body image.  
   Obviously Sweet P. will have days where she questions herself, and I want her to be able to come to me and her father for reassurance. But I also want her to know how to be able to turn around, look herself in the mirror and say "I am beautiful, inside and out." I want her to be able to take those thoughts and push them out of her mind, knowing that she is special, she is loved and she has a purpose. 
   Yes, her father and I will be there to tell her how beautiful and intelligent she is, but she needs to inherently know it as well. As she gets older, we will try our best to show/tell her that she has a plan and a calling. We will continue to tell her that there is noone else in the world like her; and all I can do is hope and pray that she sees herself that way. That she sees herself in a healthy way. 

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5 Ways to Get Organized with Children Around

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    I like to have things organized. Obviously that tendency had to change when I had a child, because nothing stays clean or organized in a house with children. And that's okay. But for someone like me, who feels better when things are organized, I have found that even with a child in the house I can maintain some sort of order by following a few steps. 
    If you are anything like me and you like structure but since you had children you aren't sure how to keep things clean/organized; I hope these tips will help you.

1. Be Flexible. I have to tell myself this daily. If Toddler Picturesque doesn't stay on schedule I can't get upset. If she skips a nap, I can't get upset. All I can do is try my best and she will get the sleep she needs. Why am I suggesting to you to be flexible, what does that have to do with becoming organized? Because any time you are dealing with children, you have to be flexible. Children do not tend to do what we want them to do. It's their human nature. That and whenever you get used to your child sticking to a certain schedule, they suddenly change. SMH. 
    This is the nature of parenting. The earlier we become flexible, the easier it is to deal with problems when they arise. 

2. Make Lists. Making lists helps me remember what I need to do that day. But the list can't be some kind of rigid guideline, otherwise you will beat yourself up if you don't complete everything on that list (which you won't). I have lists for:

• Grocery shopping - we have a marker board on our fridge where I write down what we need for the week. 
• I keep a list of daily to do's on my email's calendar. This works great for me because I can add reminders with an alarm. So for important items I CAN'T forget, these reminders show up on my phone.
• I also keep a written list depending on the need. And if there is a big event we are planning, I need several lists (a "what to buy" list, "what needs to be cleaned" list, "what needs to be made" list...). If we are traveling I also need several lists (a "what to pack in Toddler P's suitcase" list, "my suitcase" list, "hubby's suitcase" list, "what has been already packed" list, "what to buy" list...).

3. Don't Get Overwhelmed. This is a key to being organized, do not get overwhelmed by all that needs to be done. As soon as you get overwhelmed with all that needs to get done or organized, it often can incapacitate you. If you look all around and see all that needs to get done, often the thought of doing anything becomes overwhelming and you convince yourself to get nothing done instead.
    However, if you are happy with each task you get done, however small, then you have at least accomplished something. Cheer yourself on! You got something done. Maybe it was that you managed to get the colors washed (but not folded)... hey you got something on your list done today! Good job!  

4. Focus on One Area at a Time. This is a very similar thought to making a list. Focus on only one area of your home at a time, or one task at a time. If you are constantly thinking of what you need to do next, you won't effectively get anything done. So let's say you are trying to organize a room, focus on one cabinet or closet at a time not the whole room. Breaking a project into pieces is the easiest way to get something done (especially when you have a child). When you have children, getting something done can take days because your attention is constantly divided, and that's okay. 

5. Get to Work. Now comes the actual work. Depending on what you are trying to get done, whether it is accomplishing a list of chores, going shopping, packing for a trip, or getting your home organized... now is the time to get it done. 
    Here are some steps to help get your home organized.  

• Empty out the area of the room you plan to organize (a closet, a cabinet...). 
• Sort through the items from that space. Determine what should be kept, tossed, or given away. 
• Buy whatever items you need to organize that space. Do you need baskets? Do you need bins?
• Organize with your newly purchased baskets or bins and put back together the room you worked on.  

And finally here are some great free printables to help get you organized! 

• Organization Guide
• Printable Charts

                                                          

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A Mother's Love

                 
  (Background photo courtesy of unsplash.com, LondonScout). 

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    As you may know, my daughter is a little over 14 months old. She is spunky, she is full of life, she is independent, she is a snuggler, she is carefree and she is loving! I so enjoy my sweet moments with her. As I was nursing her last night, and feeling this overwhelming sense of love and amazement... I thought about what it means to be a mom. 
    It is no small task being a mom, and it is certainly the biggest, scariest, most amazing aspect of life I have yet encountered! I needed to spill out my thoughts on paper, so I thought what better place to do it than my blog.

    So what do I feel as a mom and believe other women feel as moms when they look at their child?

• This unexplainable, gut wrenching love.
• A need to protect this beautiful child, at all costs (even at the cost of her own life).
• The urgency to protect that child's innocence.
• So much pride in that child's accomplishments.
• Fear of the unknown for that child.
• Hope for the future, for her child's future. 
• Wonderment at how God could use her to help to create such a beautiful child.
• A desire to be a part of every moment in that child's life. 
• A desire to calm her children when they cry, laugh when they laugh, pick them up when they fall down, & kiss all of their tears away.

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Scriptures to Pray Over Your Child

    

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    My small group for moms has been going through a wonderful book called Wisdom for Mothers by Denise Glenn (see this link for more information). This week, we have been talking about raising our children in the ways of the Lord. The author included in this week's chapter a list of scriptures to pray daily for our children, it is such a wonderful list I had to share!

    Taken from Denise Glenn's ministry website, Kardo Ministries: 

1. That they will know Christ as Savior early in life. (Psalms 63:1, II Timothy 3:15).
2. That they will have a hatred for sin. (Psalms 97:10)
3. That they will be caught when guilty. (Psalms 119:71)

4. That they will be protected from the evil one in each area of their lives: spiritual, emotional, physical. (John 17:15)
5. That they will have a responsible attitude in all their interpersonal relationships. (Daniel 6:3)
6. That they will respect those in authority over them. (Romans 13:1)
7. That they will desire the right kind of friends and be protected from the wrong friends. (Proverbs 1:10-11)
8. That they will be kept from the wrong mate and saved for the right one. (II Corinthians 6:14-17)
9. That they, as well as those they marry, will be kept pure until marriage. (I Corinthians 6:18-20)
10. That they will learn to totally submit to God and actively resist Satan in all circumstances. (James 4:7)
11. That they will be single-hearted, willing to be sold out to Jesus Christ. (Romans 12:1, 2)
12. That they will be hedged in so they cannot find their way to wrong people or wrong places and that the wrong people cannot find their way to them (Hosea 2:6)

    Written by David Glenn, Denise Glenn's husband, about these scriptures: 

    "I began praying these over my children more than twenty five years ago. My children are certainly not perfect, and neither are we, but God has blessed us and answered so many of these requests. Of course, they hated the prayer of 'getting caught when they are guilty!' But it works —they did get caught! They have also each married godly mates that love them and love the Lord, and each one is serving Him in the giftedness they have each been given. I am not bragging on us…I am bragging on God and how he honors consistent, focused prayer. Give it a try and see what happens in your home."  

    To finish up this post, I just want to leave you with something that touched me today from Lisa Bevere's book Lioness Arising (wonderful author and such a great book). She writes: 

    "God is not looking for people who act like Christians. He wants us to be Christians! The word Christian means 'anointed or Christlike one.' Jesus did not go around 'being good;' he went around 'doing good' and releasing all who were oppressed. What has he anointed you to do? 

    God's Spirit is on me; he's chosen me to preach the Message of good news to the poor, sent me to announce pardon to prisoners and recovery of sight to the blind, to set the burdened and battered free, to announce, 'This is God's year to act!' (Luke 4:18-19)."

   I hope this post encourages you today as it has encouraged me!