Thursday, April 30, 2015

Why I Don't Want to be My Child's Friend


    A few weeks back, there was an article that came up in my Pinterest queue. It was an article about child psychology, and understanding your child (here's the link). I clicked on it, because I love psychology and thought it might be an interesting read. The article definitely has some good points, but what caught my attention was the second point in the article "distinguish your role as a parent and as a friend." 
    Why did I pause when I saw this statement?? Well because I very much disagree with it. I remember there was a time as a little girl that my friends said that their mom was "their best friend." I loved that idea and went to my mom and said that. I told her "you're my best friend mom!" I remember being caught off guard when she smiled at me lovingly but said "honey, I'm not your best friend. I'm your mom." I remember being confused by that and asking her why. What she said has always stuck with me and she has been true to her word being my momnot my friend
    See I feel that a friend is a buddy. Someone you confide in who could offer guidance and direction but mostly is someone who is there to more or less hang out with you, be with you, stand by your side. But a parent... a mom is so much more than a friend. A mom is someone who doesn't just hang out with their child, but is always there for their child, guides with love and compassion but also discipline. A mom should be someone a child can confide in but also still offer honest advice that directs the child on the right path. A mother also disciplines. 
     My mom is that, a mom. She is not my friend. But I love our relationship! I confide in her. We talk almost every day. I see her at least once a week. I tell her practically everything. But she isn't my friend. She comforts me just by being with me. She offers wise advice, and is stern about her opinions when she feels she should be. If she sees me doing something she doesn't agree with, she tells me. She doesn't mince words either when it comes to telling me her opinion. Of course she tells me as nice as she can, but she still is honest (Proverbs 15:1 "a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger"). 
    See I think society made the word "mom" or "parent" almost like a bad word. But being a mom to our child is, I believe, the best thing for them. Just because we show our children discipline, guidance and morality does not mean they cannot confide in us or find comfort in us. There has to be an equal amount of disciplinarian and comforter. 
    I want to guide my children lovingly, and I want them to feel at home with my husband and I. I want them to feel an unconditional love that goes beyond friendship. I think being a parent is bigger than being a friend. To me being my children's mom is something so much more beautiful than just being her friend. To me, it means so much more.     

Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way they should go, and they will never depart from it."

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